What to Say to a Teenager Who Is Depressed

By Francesca Bloor.

Nearly one in five 16 to 24 year olds show signs of anxiety and depression – according to the Office for National Statistics. Another survey showed that over 60,000 11 to 16 year olds are seriously depressed. The problem of depression is a common one, yet is so it's often hidden in shame or denial, and teenagers are no exception.

Here are some of the things your teenager may want to tell you, but find it hard to say…

1. It's not all about talking it through. Some of us benefit from getting the heavy weight off our chest and telling you all about it, but not all the time. Often showing that you understand and care without actually talking about the problem goes a long way – cooking a favourite dinner after a hard day or taking the time to watch our favourite, uplifting film in the evening.

2. We don't want to bring you down too. We understand that it must be hard for you to hear that we aren't feeling happy, and the last thing we want is for that to make you sad too - it's can be a vicious and spiralling circle. It's ok to need to talk to someone yourself, perhaps a parent or even a counsellor.

3. We're sorry for shouting at you. Depression fills you up and takes control – including, sometimes, over what we say. The mood swings, anger and blaming are all an uncontrollable part of the illness, and while we may look and sound like your teen as we shout and moan at you, it's actually the illness talking. We're sorry and we love you really.

RELATED: 15 THINGS PEOPLE WITH ANXIETY WANT YOU TO KNOW

4. Give us all of the options. As our parents, you have lived longer and experienced more than us, and so sometimes have heard stories putting you off some of the treatments on offer. As near adults, we want a say in choosing what help we receive, and so even if you've had bad experiences with medication, or don't believe in counselling, give us the chance to look into those options ourselves. We are all individuals and different things work for different people, even if we are related to you.

5. Reaching the turning point. At some point during the struggle, everyone reaches a turning point where we realise that it actually is possible to get better. A useful technique to set us rolling on the, albeit bumpy, road to recovery can be a physical fresh start to kick-start the mental one. Throwing out old clothes, posters or even furniture of ours that reminds us of a dark place is a huge help – and we don't want to offend you when the teddy you bought us ten years ago now makes us feel blue! Clearing and changing your teenager's bedroom helps with the change in perspective too.

6. You can't fix this for us. As much as we would both like you to be able to, you can't wave a magic wand and make us all better. Be there to support us, but understand that the only one who can fix this is us – and we want to take full credit when we win this battle!

Depression is an alarmingly common, but absolutely beatable illness. Treatments like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, medication or simple things like exercising are all ways to overcome it. Timing is everything when talking to your teenager. If you suspect there is a problem, or know there is and want to explore the options, find a suitable time to sit down and discuss it, being mindful of their opinions and need for independence. Visit the NHS guide to mental illness in teenagers for more help.

RELATED: HOW TO TALK TO YOUR TEENAGER ABOUT DEPRESSION

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

What to Say to a Teenager Who Is Depressed

Source: https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/health/health-advice/a556689/how-to-cope-with-depression-teenagers/

Share this post